I enjoy movies on many levels. I love admiring the different characters, the lines, the action, the camera work, the editing, the graphics, the music and everything else. My heart never stops to skip a beat even when I go to the same theater every time, blissfully sniffing the scent of caramelized popcorn, and get settled in one of the seats that my body has grown so familiar to. I enjoy the whole experience of going to the movies. But this is not something I can afford to have for myself all the time due to constraints in time and money that it requires. So I usually watch movies in my room by myself and, although it’s a little embarrassing to admit, I like to be completely immersed in the story, let myself go and cry whilst. The truth is, I always thought this was a cheap compromise I was making. It’s been 300-something days since I first started blogging about my life, but mostly about the movies that inspire me, and now that I think about it, my thoughts about this hobby has changed.
Here is the blog I had before this: https://plain.is/lumiere
(The film documentation section: https://plain.is/lumiere/h/영화)
I was listening to “The Blower’s Daughter,” an original soundtrack from the film Closer by Damien Rice when I remembered blogging about the film. So I went back to look for my blog that I have long abandoned and went through the posts I have made about different films I watched on my own. It was my first blog ever and I didn’t know what and how to document, so I began with blogging quotes I liked from the films. Then I remember feeling so emotional about a film at one point that I had to change the format of my blogging. So I started to write down my thoughts, and my blog posts became longer with time. I quit writing on that blog when I first conceived the thought that the blog cannot keep up with my desire to be more elaborate in discussing films. Then I started this one. I haven’t made too many posts on this, and I feel it has something to do with the pressure I put upon myself to write in a more polished style.
But what I have learned after going through the posts I’ve made on the precedent blog is that no matter how unorderly they may seem, they still have their values in asking the important questions about life. And this feeling of getting myself to be able to think about what really matters, the essence of life, and feeling as if I could be a better human came back to me. This was the motivation that kept me passionate about reading film, which I must have lost in the petty distractions of life. I want to tell myself that everything counts, that whatever thought I have from watching a film is worthwhile to document, so don’t hesitate to write.
The followings are my thoughts on love, a recurrent theme in many of my film analysis, from the old blog.
It all began with this:
June 2, 2015- Kill Your Darlings (2013)
“Find where love hides, give, share, lose, lest we die unbloomed.”
I questioned if love was even real:
August 6, 2015- Closer (2004)
The concept of becoming “closer” is an illusion and love is an impulse. Dan realizes he loves Alice and cannot help but demand the truth, only to become a stranger who never even knew her name. Anna is never satisfied with the love she has and drives herself to depression out of lust for another man. True love is irrelevant to the three. The film leaves Alice as a mystery, but I would say that, all along, she was the one who knew the truth about love.
“It’s a lie. It’s a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and… all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it’s beautiful ’cause that’s what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone… But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so… the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie.”
I thought about the idea of there being no life without love:
August 14, 2015- Shame (2011)
A rather realistic depiction of a destroyed life; he feels no true human connection and sex isolates him further. His sister shares his pain, but unlike him she desires life which is evident in her self-harm and attempts at suicide. His sorrowful, emotionless face in the final scene leaves the audience questioning whether he can break free from his painful cycle.
Love came across to me as a value to hold on to for the entirety of humanity:
September 5, 2015- Never Let Me Go (2010)
“What I’m not sure about is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. We all complete. Maybe none of us really understand what we’ve lived through, or feel we’ve had enough time.” It’s easy to think that medical science will develop to a stage where moral ethics is put into question. Films are constantly being made with such theme in mind (ex. The Island (2005)), but I could never decide how I should feel about it. With this one, however, I finally had some idea; an absolute remedy to death is not so easy to approach. The beings modeled on humans will have emotions, intelligence, relationships and life of their own like any other human. Likewise, humans will die someday, whether they are ready or not, whether they like it or not, just like them. In this sense, I think death is inevitable and the best anyone can do is love.
It became so important for me that there is love in life:
September 5, 2015- Being John Malkovich (1999)
Is it worth living when you lose your love and passion for self-achievement, as you age with nothing left but a numb desire to live?
I dedicate this post to my old blog and to my old self.
Never stop searching for meanings. Never stop writing.
– This has been words of encouragement at a sleepless night of editing resumes 🙂 내 인생 화이팅